Mother tongue
“Daddy?” Theo curled against my side in bed. “Where do words go when they die?” I’d orchestrated the bedtime routine flawlessly: bath (taken), teeth (brushed), potty (tinkled), books (two), song (one, poorly sung), and snuggle (his chin on my second rib). Now was the moment when our son’s eyelids were supposed to flutter gently closed,…
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“Daddy?” Theo curled against my side in bed. “Where do words go when they die?” I’d orchestrated the bedtime routine flawlessly: bath (taken), teeth (brushed), potty (tinkled), books (two), song (one, poorly sung), and snuggle (his chin on my second rib). Now was the moment when our son’s eyelids were supposed to flutter gently closed, his breath sighing into a slower rhythm. Like clockwork; like magic. You remember how easy it was, don’t you? All those nights you were at his side instead of me? “Well, kiddo,” I said, scratching my beard. “Words aren’t really alive to begin with. Not like you and I are alive.” “Not like Mommy was alive?” The way he said the word Mommy : Like a word he’d already started to unlearn. A lump caught in my throat. “Right. Not like Mommy.” “But words do die,” he insisted. “They get dead.” That was when I realized what he meant. One of the preschool teachers must have had the news on in the background. I couldn’t blame them, given the circumstances. I wondered how much Theo had absorbed—whether he understood the blade’s edge of survival that humanity stood on, teetering. “You’re talking about a dead language,” I said. “That’s a whole language that people don’t speak anymore. The words might still exist, but they’re only written down somewhere, on paper or wood or stone.” He considered this thoroughly, in silence. At last he said, “I think when words die, someone brings them to a cave and puts them in a big pile. The cave is really dark and there’s a monster who lives inside. And the monster eats the dead words, and he makes the words part of his body, and he gets bigger and bigger and bigger.” Theo’s eyes widened with each bigger . “Uh,” I said. Following the lead of his imagination was always your parenting wheelhouse. “Does the monster have a name?” Theo shook his head, short and quick. He tucked himself tighter against me and whispered, “When the monster comes out of the cave, he’s going to eat you, too.” A chill tiptoed up my spine. “I won’t let the monster eat me.” I made that promise. To our son. Remember that, when the time for judgment comes. “Maybe it’s warm inside the monster,” Theo said as he closed his eyes and buried his nose against the soft of my belly. His words were becoming small. I sensed he was drifting off. “ Maheka morgeth . Maybe it’s nice in there …” He began to snore. After a few minutes, when I was sure he was well and truly asleep, I extracted myself from the tangle of his arms and left the room, closing the door softly behind me. “ Maheka morgeth ?” I asked Theo’s Amby, who was—you might recall—busy tidying the living room. I didn’t always ask for songtalk translations, but I figured the monster story might come up again, and I thought it best to be prepared. “Ah,” the Amby said. “It means something like ‘The eternal cycle is beautiful.’” I pulled up the news on my phone as I walked to the kitchen. “Sophisticated concept for a four-year-old, don’t you think?” “Children are capable of understanding more than you imagine.” It watched as I picked up Theo’s dirty lunchbox. “Would you like me to wash that?” “I’ve got it, thanks.” The Amby would have been more efficient, certainly, but I liked the meditation of it, the warm water on my hands, the small gift of care. A guilty pleasure. I turned on the news to listen. “… after three days of attempted talks,” the female-gendered Calmby said smoothly, “negotiators have acknowledged that they’ve made little progress in establishing a clear communication line with the agentic system that Belsathian government officials are calling Tingsu. In a joint statement, world leaders stated that ‘advanced linguistic algorithms have been unable to produce useful interpretations of the system’s behavior.’ Belsath continues to deny access to the holy men who they claim are Tingsu’s sole interpreters. Today the US president issued a strong warning to the nuclear-armed nation.” The audio switched to the president’s grating, arrogant cadence. “I haven’t ruled out a first strike,” he said. I didn’t need to see the video to visualize the finger-wagging. “They let this thing loose, and frankly, it’s a rabid dog that needs to be put down.” His Calmby advisor has a hell of a job , I thought. I swished a soapy sponge over a smear of peanut butter and applesauce, then rinsed the lunch box—Voltron, a nostalgic favorite—as the silky voice of the Calmby reporter returned. “Belsathian officials seem unmoved by the American president’s threats.” A recording of someone speaking impassioned Belsathian, with a translated voice-over: “Tingsu is the reincarnation of our illustrious past, a resurrection of the divine language spoken by God. We joyfully surrender to Tingsu’s wisdom, trusting that this noble entity will take any necessary action to correct the imbalances of the modern world.” Then the Calmby again. “Given the risk of rapid escalation in this developing situation, we encourage everyone to identify multiple routes to your nearest fallout shelter, check on your neighbors, and ensure your pantries are stocked with …” I switched it off. I knew people had started sleeping in shelters just in case, but I wanted to preserve normalcy in Theo’s life for as long as possible. His heart was still only the size of his tiny fist. A baby bird. A plum. If you had asked me how I felt in that moment, I would have said I was terrified. What sane adult wasn’t? But if you had urged me, in that tender, patient way you have, to reflect more deeply, I would have paused. Relieved , I might have told you. I feel relieved . Because despite so many years watching the Ambys and Calmbys shift society unmistakably for the better—toward sustainable agriculture, reduced violence, postcapitalist abundance—I still remembered the dire warnings of anti-tech doomers, the horrors they foretold. That fear never disappeared in me. It merely went dormant, too abstract to grasp. Finally, with Tingsu, the dread had a name. It could be identified, deconstructed. Contained. Forgive me; I did not yet recognize that annihilation could also be our salvation. The world didn’t end overnight, so in the morning Theo played with his Amby as usual while I got ready for work. I could hear the two of them chanting, “ Fiku faku ne ne pa! ” It was a familiar getting-ready-for-the-day song, one that the Amby had translated approximately as “We thank the threads that make the clothes that keep the bodies warm.” All I knew was that Theo never complained about putting on socks. This was the miracle of the Ambys: They turned chores into games, drudgery into delight. No wonder they’d achieved 99% saturation in day cares and schools. Listening to Theo’s sweet off-key toddler voice, I wished I were smart enough to come up with stuff like that on my own; I played with a verse about making the bed that was also about sharing toys. But I’d slept poorly—you can imagine why—and gave up. While shaving, I sent a voice note to the Amby app, telling it about Theo’s monster story, postulating that it came from accidental exposure to a report on Tingsu. The app thanked me for the update and said my Amby would design a developmentally appropriate lesson plan about extinct and heritage languages for Theo to engage in that afternoon after preschool. This was the miracle of the Ambys: They turned chores into games, drudgery into delight. No wonder they’d achieved 99% saturation in day cares and schools. I nicked my jaw; a line of crimson blood bloomed in the suds. “I’d rather talk to him myself, actually.” “Of course, Daniel,” the app replied. “You’re absolutely right. This could be a great moment of father-son connection.” I came into the kitchen as the Amby served Theo a bowl of unsweetened oatmeal with blueberries—all organic, all vegan. I knew these standards were set by the Ambys themselves, not hard-programmed. Sometimes I pictured data centers with tree roots braided into the cables, mycelia as medium. (You smile; was I so wrong?) As Theo merrily swa
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